The two drawings are just what I see in my head to fight this horrible disease. When my pain is so bad that I feel like taking all my meds at once I can’t stand the pain any more.,,, I shout out go away Mr DD with your red hot poker .,,,You will not get me .,I will not take more and more tabs or morphine so I become like the the living dead for days …. No! No! No! Lets see Mr DD have you a positives side?
When I was a workaholic full time mum who wanted the world for my children I would work so hard as an A.D.I (Advanced driving instructor) and had another business to run along side my ADI and nothing could stop me .
Then from out of no where you showed up .
One morning I woke up the month was December 1997. I was covered in black lumps all over my arms. legs and back, and the pain I didn’t no such existed, apart from child birth, but this was like a red hot poker stabbing my body. my body was on fire, the pain went right through my body. No one could touch me, no one could work out why I flinched when they went to touch me, I couldn’t work, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t talk, even on the phone, I couldn’t stand anyone with a loud voice. I turned from a strong business woman, in to a shivering wreck, my children looked at me in horror they were so used to me being a get up and go person, smiling, happy go lucky too.
I kept going to the doctors, but my GP was more interested in the £15 insurance form I had to give him to sign for medical insurance.
Due to this mystery horrid thing, my Business and I were failing fast. I had more insurance forms to sign every month and that was becoming very expensive. I have always worked and was never unemployed I never wanted to be. Now I was losing my house and my business. I was so depressed and was having panic attacks. Well, what I thought were panic attacks. My GP kept Telling me I was not in pain they were only fatty tissues, And they didn’t hurt! My eldest son took me to the doctors again and again and again. By that time I thought I was having a nervous breakdown.
My daughter, used to hold me and put me in a very hot bath to stop me shaking and help with the pain. One day my Middle son’s girlfriend took me to see the doctor again and she waited outside the room while I went in to see the GP and he did not look up from his desk but he asked for more money. I was very upset, and asked “please Dr. Help me. I Feel like I’m going insane”. He said nothing is wrong with me that I owed him £31, But then I just lost it (temper). This had been going on for months now, I just leaned over his desk and pinched him as hard as I could, he let out a Scream. I asked him if it hurt and, his reply was yes! That was so painful. I said “Good for that is a taste of a little bit of what I’m going through”!! He told me to get out. I said “with pleasure”. But before all this happened he kept telling me he was leaving this surgery to become a private practitioner. As I was leaving his office, I asked him “Who in their right mind would want to pay to see you?””You’re a charlatan”.
I got up to leave and the doctor tried to stop me leaving by closing and locking the office door. I said “Please get out of my way”. He kept saying “no no you must stay. You are too upset to leave.” By this time my son’s girlfriend was banging on the door, his own receptionist was crying, she had heard the whole thing, the names he called me, what he had said in a loud voice to me. He only wanted my Money, so he got what was coming to him. What goes around comes around, he went into private practice but no one would go to him.
I found a new GP who Actually put me on the right road. It was hell to hear all the horrid stories about What I had To live with. All of us DD and RD sufferers, I feel that there must be a hopeful positive side. So Mr DD, if you hadn’t stopped me working so hard I would have missed out on all my lovely grandchildren, playing, birthday parties etc, living. I have now moved to a lovely place near the sea And countryside, I sit and watch my grandchildren play on the beach I listen to the birds singing in the trees. I watch the deer and my dogs playing in the fields. I can watch the tide come in and out and the boats sailing on the sea, the sun rising in the morning and setting of an evening. So if it Wasn’t for you Mr DD I would have missed all of the wonderful family and life. So I take you by the hand and I will carry on with your red hot poker,,,,! To me your red hot poker is a feather duster .
And I will always fight you Mr DD.
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